Spokane Food Blog

The finale is on tomorrow, and here is the final ranking, lovingly put together by myself:

1. Stefan

There is no doubt Stefan is the one to beat. He has the creativity, he has the technique, and he is willing to step out of his comfort zone. In fact, the only thing that seems to stand in his way is his ego. It’s all well and nice he thinks he’s god’s gift to cooking and all, but when that lax attitude results in some elementary mistakes… Not good. Still, I fully expect Stefan to bring his A-game and take the it all home. Feel the power of The Stefaning!

2. Carla

Ouch… Well, I got this one wrong, predicting she’d be The Big Loser of the competition. And in my defense, she started out rather poorly. Then all of a sudden she woke up. Carla might be missing some of Stefan’s finesse (Stefan helped her shucking the oysters in the semis, which strangely enough wasn’t shown in the final cut) but has come up with some creative and technical dishes in the past few episodes. I have my doubts she’ll best Stefan, but, I have been wrong before.

3. Hosea

“Behind the scenes drama” aside… I just don’t find Hosea’s cooking overly inspiring. After some initial nerves, and initial in this case lasted more than 3/4 of the season, he seems to finally have gotten his technique down, but the dishes he serve up? Words like “dull” and “sea side resort” comes to mind. But hey, one could have said the same about season two’s Ilan, and we all know how that went.

As your favorite Spokane Food Blog is either sick/in Afghanistan/MIA, for today we will just redirect you to this site, via our eight favorite reader, Ryan. What’s the site about? Have a glance at this… Then weep…

About one year ago, New York City passed a law mandating calorie counts to be posted on menu items.  I have been to the city a few times since this law passed, and I hope WA follows this mandate.  From a nutrition stand point I wish all restaurants would post this information, but I am sure it would cost businesses a great deal of money to change menu boards and printed menus.

The full release about the calorie posing is as follows:

The New York City Board of Health voted unanimously to require all city chain restaurants to post calorie data on their menus. Chain restaurants already must make the calorie counts of their menu items publicly available, but beginning March 31 they will have to put the numbers on menu boards and menus. The change will affect restaurants with 15 or more outlets — roughly 10 percent of all city restaurants, according to a news release from the city’s health department.

More information right here.

Mr. and Mrs. Clause delivered a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer Deluxe to me this December.  I was so excited.  I love infomercial products (Miracle Blades, Magic Bullet, ShamWow, etc.) but rarely get to own such items.  I look forward to Bloomsday each year, not just so I can walk/run with ~30,000 other people but so I can go to the Bloomsday trade show. The trade show attracts all sorts of As Seen on TV vendors, and I get excited seeing the mini-infomercial productions come to life in Spokane.

Jack LaLanne, what a man.  His juicer is great, and it’s the perfect solution to slimy vegetables, a problem many face.

My New Year’s Day involved a lot of juicing.  Apples, oranges, cucumbers, spinach, carrots, pears, and cactus.  I do not recommend juicing cactus.  It gets quite slimy and gooey, but it does make a great prickly pear juice — if you like those.

The down side of the Jack LaLanne Power Juicer Deluxe is, of course, the size and weight of the machine.  Yet those are also the qualities that make it so great.  You really can put whole pears, apples, and oranges in the machine.  I woke up to a text message this morning notifying me Rosauers is having a big sale on oranges and all other produce today. (There are also rumors that Rosauers will set aside produce for people to juice and sell it extremely discounted.)

I guess that means fresh orange juice for breakfast and screwdrivers for dinner.

Spokane Food Blog are juicers…

I take it you know Gummy Bears. Apparently so do the Germans.

Words escape me.

It has been some time since I’ve delved into the depths of my (semi-) guilty pleasure, Top Chef. Sad, I know, but my reasoning is simply that there hasn’t been that much to say about the past few episodes. Not that the show isn’t entertaining, but it has been hard gauging much of anything from the “cheftestants” thus far. And that Kathie Lee Gifford has the palette of somebody with an amputated tongue? Yeah, no, color me surprised…

With that said, here are some observations I’ve come up with during the past few episodes:

For the love of god, get her out of here…

Melissa has dodged elimination with something close to Dubya’s shoe-ducking abilities. Her use of habaneros in episode four — where she either didn’t taste the shrimp or showed she has numb taste buds — was unforgivable. De Leon has probably the best habanero salsa I’ve ever had, and even they don’t get it right every time. Heat for the sake of heat is not a good thing. Add to that her waffling excuses, her trucker hat, and… Really, that’s about the extent of her contribution. I’d be surprised if she survives another episode.

“What, is she funny or something?”

I’m sure Ariane is a lovely woman, but to award a Top Chef contestant a win for managing to cook some lamb properly? Not exactly the hardest thing to do, and the dish was clearly Jamie’s creation at any rate.

The Bride’s Maid

Jamie is sailing up as the one to beat in this competition, even though she hasn’t actually won a single challenge yet. I mean, seriously? Alongside Stefan she is showing more creativity and better technique than the other “cheftestants” and I’d be surprised if she didn’t make it to the end.

The Stefaning

We don’t really have the token douchebag this season, and though Stefan is a bit… shall we say confrontational… he clearly has the skill to back up his big mouth. He was completely correct about Gene’s asinine “DIY sushi” dish (seriously, what?) and though Jeff delivered a successful sorbet, I think Stefan was right raising a red flag over it.

I can’t quit you

The Chilean sea bass just screamed 1998, but regardless… Fabio might not have shown the best dishes in the competition, yet he’s far from the worst “cheftestant,” and I don’t think his full potential has been realized yet. Plus, come on… You’d have to be dead not to be charmed by him.

OK, so my initial predictions weren’t exactly 100% on, but then again, they could have been quite a bit worse. Here’s a round-up of some notables in last week’s Top Chef, as well as a few predictions for the upcoming episode…

Out Like Flynn

So Patrick wasn’t a douche after all, though I maintain he did have his eyebrows waxed. The guy actually seemed perfectly likable, but my god, I hope he has a few more years to go at the CIA. His salmon based dish was about as far away from Chinatown one could expect a Top Chef contestant to get. And going with black rice noodles when you’ve never cooked with them before? Tut tut…

The New Douche

Enter Jeff, the new douche on the block. Now granted, I don’t think Jeff necessarily is a bad chef or anything. But, in the first episode at least, he comes off way too cocky, and shows a complete lack of time management. In the future, he might very well show us something interesting if he stops fussing over his hair and executes his ideas better. As it stands, he is the forerunner to be this season’s Marcel.

The Stefaning!

Oh, we all knew the power of The Stefaning would shine through, but who could have predicted it would shine this brightly? Winning both the Quickfire and the Elimination challenge was impressive in itself, but it was Stefan’s dishes that showed us he could be the real deal. His lamb chops and beef skewers were simple and, apparently, well executed, which is what you need to win this contest. Get too fancy and you can easily mess up; balancing creativity and simpleness is the name of the game.

Moving on…

It looks like the Quickfire will be centered around hot-dogs this time around, something which will give the contestants a good opportunity to show some creativity around a staple dish. I have a feeling some will get too fancy with this one, and that would be a mistake. It’s fine kicking it all up a notch and all, but a hot-dog is a hot-dog… It is, literally, a pedestrian’s dish, and should be treated as such.

Less is known about the Elimination round, though apparently it will involve serving a larger group of people. Can you hear the caterers shout for joy?

As you may or may not know, tonight is the first episode of Top Chef: New York on Bravo. At 8pm, no less than 17 chefs will face off in the Quickfire Challenge and the grander Elimination Challenge. It’ll be entertainment central, yo.

Who will win? Who will be laughed out? Who will be the douchebag to out-douche season two’s Marcel? With only Bravo’s propaganda to go by, it’s difficult to say, but here’s an early opinion:

The Potential Winners!

Alex: Executive chef, Restaurant 15, LA

His mug suggests he might just win the Douchebag award, yet you can’t argue with the man’s taste and credentials, at least when the context of a reality television program is taken into consideration. Having a vast international background — landing in LA by the way of Madrid, the Dominican Republic, and NYC — suggests he can be versatile in the kitchen while having a spicy enough personality for the producers to want to keep him around. His love for a good duck confit and paella makes him an interesting pick for me personally.

Fabio: Owner, Cafe Firenze Italian Restaurant & Martini Bar, Moorpark, CA

Fabio, a born and bred Italian, has the authentic Mediterranean cuisine down pretty well if his bio is anything to go by. In fact, looking at his restaurant’s menu, which I assume is his seeing he is the owner, Fabio is somebody who enjoys simple and clean flavors. This tends be a favorite quality for the judges. Of course, Fabio’s also a good looking man, which isn’t going to hurt his chances

Jamie: Executive Chef, Absinthe Brasserie and Bar, San Francisco

It’s hard to say if Absinthe seems so prolific just because of the easy to remember name or if it has an actual good buzz about it. Regardless, Absinthe’s menu looks impressive without being overly complicated, and Jamie’s CIA credentials would indicate she knows what she’s doing. Judging by her tattoos and posture, I’m also going to guess she has spunk, which is very television friendly. Who doesn’t love a spark plug?

The Potential Loser!

Carla: Owner/Chef, Alchemy Caterers, DC

While about half the contestants are, shall we say, uninspiring, I can’t help but feel that Carla encompasses all the less than stellar qualities of the Top Chefs. On top of the pile is her catering background. With all respect to caterers far and wide, I have seen few interesting caterer contestants. Remember Betty from season two? Her sparkly personality overshadowed her dull creations, and pulled her through further than she should have gone. She was also the same age as Carla.

In other words, I don’t think Carla will be the first to go. But that doesn’t mean she’s not The Loser in this competition.

The Potential Douchebag!

Patrick: Culinary student, NY

First, I’m fairly certain he might have his eyebrows waxed, which, unless he is in the middle of a reassignment process, does not inspire confidence. Other than that, the tie, his posture, his… Well, just look at the bio… My prediction is that he’ll be an overly cocky student who thinks he knows better than the judges, and will be kept in for quite a while to keep the program “colorful.” Outside of that, I have little reason to believe he’ll cook up anything too interesting.

The Stefaning!

Stefan: Chef, StefansCatering.com, Santa Monica

Yeah, I got little to add here, other than this will be the man who will unleash The Stefaning all over everybody’s faces! My personal favorite in the competition.